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On the first night of a two-day weekend slate, MLS gifted us beatdowns. So many beatdowns. Let’s talk it out.
FC CINCINNATI - 6 | INTER MIAMI CF - 1
Y. Kubo (10', 57'), L. Acosta (36'), P. Bucha (38'), Y. Asad (45+4'), G. Valenzuela (72') | S. Kryvtsov (21'), S. Busquets (Red Card 62')
WHEW. BOY.
So it turns out Inter Miami couldn’t outrun their absences and underlying numbers forever. They trotted out Sergio Busquets as a left-sided center back in this one and, folks, that did not go well. The Garys put on a show as they blew past, through and around the Herons over and over. Yuya Kubo added a brace, Luca Orellano tortured Miami while playing in a more advanced role and Lucho Acosta reminded us he’s going to make darn sure he’s included in the MVP conversation again. This got genuinely ugly.
All I’ve got is praise for the new Supporters’ Shield leaders. They’re dealing with extreme attrition at center back right now and it certainly didn’t matter last night. There aren’t many opportunities in the MLS season to put together a statement win, but I don’t think I can remember a more resounding notice of intent.
The obvious caveat is the absence of the greatest player of all time, but Cincy were going to rip apart Miami’s defense regardless last night. We’ll see if they can replicate it when these two meet in Miami on Aug. 24. If Orellano and Acosta keep their current form everything is on the table.
COLUMBUS CREW - 4 | TORONTO FC - 0
Cucho (15'), C. Ramírez (52'), M. Farsi (81'), D. Rossi (85')
Meanwhile, in other Ohio-based beatdowns, the Crew pummeled Toronto in a game that felt like it could have and should have gotten a lot worse. Since falling to Inter Miami, the Crew have won four straight by a combined score of 15-1. FIFTEEN. TO. ONE.
They’ve set themselves up for a mammoth MLS Cup rematch with LAFC on Saturday. Columbus are averaging 1.95 points per game and have games in hand on everyone in front of them. If they win their next two games, they’d be at 45 points after 22 games. Cincinnati are currently at 48 points after 22 games. The Crew have a chance to truly insert themselves into the Supporters’ Shield race by the time we reach Leagues Cup.
Toronto do not. In fact, they’re lucky at this point to still be in a playoff spot. Their goal differential is down to -13 and their 13 losses are the most in the Eastern Conference. They haven’t won a match since May 18. In their nine-game winless streak, they’ve been outscored 23-9. It’s a full-on disaster at this point and it doesn’t seem like a few international absences returning are going to fix this.
REAL SALT LAKE - 5 | ATLANTA UNITED - 2
M. Crooks (1'), B. Ojeda (59'), C. Arango (68'), A. Katranis (78'), D. Luna (84') | S. Lobjanidze (31'), D. Ríos (80')
Real Salt Lake scored in the first 48 seconds, let Atlanta back into the game for the rest of the half, made some halftime substitutes and adjustments, and slowly but surely pushed the Five Stripes deeper into the wood-chipper. Diego Luna led the way with a goal and three assists in his first appearance since being left off the U.S. Olympic roster. The 20-year-old has five goals and 12 assists on the season.
It may not have been the most resounding message of the night from a Supporters’ Shield contender, but RSL aren’t going anywhere in this race. They have too much firepower and play a relentless brand of soccer that tends to wear teams down. RSL are either pulling away from you late or getting themselves back into every game they play.
Anyway, have we mentioned that Atlanta may have a tough time until they have DPs back on their roster? And also maybe until said roster actually improves by a significant amount?
ORLANDO CITY SC - 5 | D.C. UNITED - 0
M. Ojeda (19'), R. Jansson (23'), I. Angulo (42'), F. Torres (74'), R. Enrique (85') | L. Bartlett (Red Card 45+2')
Orlando aren’t a Shield contender, but they joined the fun anyway last night. The Lions were all over D.C. from the jump here. They’ve won three of their last four and jumped all the way to seventh in the East. Did those wins come against Chicago, Toronto and D.C. United? Yes. Yes they did. But still, things are going much better lately.
D.C. makes me sad. They’re now in last place in the East.
CF MONTRÉAL - 1 | VANCOUVER WHITECAPS FC - 1
M. Cóccaro (79') | B. White (29')
Matías Cóccaro saved the day with a late header as Montréal salvaged a point. The Whitecaps should be disappointed to not come away with a win, but a road point is always a good point. They’re still fifth in the West and three points out of a home playoff spot.
AUSTIN FC - 2 | NEW YORK CITY FC - 1
G. Zardes (45+7', 69') | A. Perea (5')
Gyasi Zardes turned back the clock for a vintage performance that saw him score his first and second goals of the season in an upset win for Austin that put them back in a playoff spot.
New York City are running into a bit of a wall here with four losses in their last six games. The four teams in front of them in the East each have four or fewer losses the entire season. It’s a young group that’s still going through some growing pains.
SEATTLE SOUNDERS FC - 2 | NEW ENGLAND REVOLUTION - 0
J. Morris (15'), A. Rusnák (81')
Seattle took care of business against a Revs team doing the dreaded midweek game into a cross-country trip double game week. Don’t look now, but the Sounders are up to sixth in the West and are just three points out of a home playoff spot right as Pedro de la Vega is slowly but surely starting to get minutes. I can already envision a world where no one wants to deal with a fourth-place Sounders side with a head of steam heading into the playoffs.
PHILADELPHIA UNION - 0 | NEW YORK RED BULLS - 0
The weirdest game of the night and one of the weirdest of the year. It’s truly remarkable that nothing technically happened considering the fact that the Union put up 2.5 xG and the Red Bulls put up 2.8. Neither team scored despite 31 total shots and 5.3 total xG on a night where three different teams scored five goals by themselves. What a sport.
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