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With only four teams and three games left, we've officially reached the point where things like "analysis" and "thoughtful consideration of potential outcomes based on existing data" just don't matter. We can look at whatever subjective and objective data we want and pretend we know what might happen and then suddenly Malte Amundsen is thumping a 0.01 xG shot from 30 yards out into the top right corner and you remember that anything can happen over the course of a single soccer game. Every single team left is an MLS Cup-winning caliber team because they've made it this far. They've done the majority of the work. The rest is down to like 10% skill and 90% the decisions of an unseen higher power. Two games is nothing. Toronto won four games this year. You can accidentally win a title at this point.
But there's a chance that skill comes into play here. In the event something wild like that goes down, we want you to be prepared. So today we're going to rank each team's starters at each position. If we do end up needing to worry about talent and ability, maybe this will give us a clue as to who has an advantage.
Goalkeeper
LAFC
Houston Dynamo FC
FC Cincinnati
Columbus Crew
I would have been a bit concerned about having LAFC in the top spot here before Sunday night. Maxime Crépeau's performance against Seattle eased any worries I had left about his return from injury. He's the best of the bunch. And, well, even if LAFC were starting John McCarthy he'd statistically be better than everyone else based on post-shot xG. The rest of the group is pretty much a wash.
Fullbacks/Wingbacks
LAFC
FC Cincinnati
Columbus Crew
Houston Dynamo FC
FC Cincinnati have the best player of the bunch here. Álvaro Barreal has been outstanding all year. But compared to the combined forces of Ryan Hollingshead and Diego Palacios, I don't think Barreal and Ray Gaddis are quite on the same level as a pair. It's close though. The Crew would have had an argument to be closer to the top with Julian Gressel in, but it just doesn't look like he's in their plans for their most important games of the season. It's honestly one of the weirdest subplots of this whole postseason, but, hey, they do keep winning.
Center backs
FC Cincinnati
LAFC
Columbus Crew
Houston Dynamo FC
There's been no indication that Matt Miazga will need to sit out any of the next two games and that means Cincy have the best group of the bunch again. Yerson Mosquera alone right now would be enough to have them in second, but adding in the MLS Defender of the Year clearly pushes them to the top. LAFC aren't too far behind, though. They can swap out Aaron Long for Giorgio Chiellini as they please. That's absurd.
6/8s
Columbus Crew
Houston Dynamo FC
FC Cincinnati
LAFC
As good as Héctor Herrera has been this year, I can't find it in me to put him and Artur over Darlington Nagbe and Aidan Morris. For me, Nagbe and Morris are likely the best pairing in the league. That opinion could change in the next few minutes, though. It's that close. Honestly, all four teams here are stacked. Somehow a group with Kellyn Acosta, Ilie Sánchez and Timothy Tillman is arguably the least effective of the four.
Attacking mids/Wingers
LAFC
FC Cincinnati
Columbus Crew
Houston Dynamo FC
We have a few different formations to deal with here so I just grouped the 10s and the wingers together. And then I took a deep breath and essentially decided to rank Dénis Bouanga ahead of 2023 MLS MVP Lucho Acosta. I'm sorry y'all, but Bouanga looks as scary as anyone in MLS history right now. It's genuinely terrifying to see him flying down the field in transition. He's about to break the MLS season record for goals by a player in all competitions. I've got to give him the edge.
Striker
Columbus Crew
FC Cincinnati
LAFC
Houston Dynamo FC
This is Cucho's spot and it's not even really close to be honest. Brandon Vazquez and Aaron Boupendza are good, but not on the same level right now. Cucho might be the best striker in the league. I feel ok saying that even if he doesn't approach the game like a typical no. 9. He's just special.
Final Tally
LAFC - 11
FC Cincinnati - 14
Columbus Crew - 15
Houston Dynamo FC - 20
You probably won't be surprised to find out LAFC got the slight nod when it comes to talent. The margins are thin though. Across two games, it may not matter much. The only thing that really matters is whether or not you have Dénis Bouanga. Probably. Or maybe Malte Amundsen?
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